this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don't warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here



pending poems  index



chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page



audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed !


















good


poetry


comes


from


fundamental


un


happiness


and


disillusionment


with


 life !



mp3 tbu


















good


poetry


comes


from


fundamental


un


happiness


and


disillusionment


with


life !




mp3 tbu
















depression and hyperconnectionbetween


the emotional and thinking centers of the brain


“ over the last couple of years there has been an emerging new perspective on how depression affects the brain


this theory has suggested a   hyperconnection  between the areas of the brain involved in emotional processing and mood change and the parts of the brain involved in thinking and concentrating ”


i am not recommending   ect  btw, it damages too systemically !


i can relate strongly to my emotions being over connected to my thinking processes


it's there, much more in daily problem solving than you think


overall my problem solving is a very emotional process


i am very connected to my emotions for problems solving, much less so for attachments to people
















why


is


everything


working


against


me



a


common


thought


:


o


)


(




mp3 tbu
















why


is


everything


working


against


me

a


common


thought


:


o


)


(
















at


the


top


you


have


to


do


what's


most


important


and


let

the


other


stuff


F


l


o


a


t


away !


:


o


)


(
















i'm


scared


to


eat


lamb

brains


because


they


m


a


k


e


too


much


flow


of


homilies


and


sometimes


poems !
















“ your understanding ”


this


is


the


whole


point


spiritual


understanding


embodied


in


the


person


is


voynich !
















keeping your


opinions


to


yourself


there's

a


sort


of


balance


between


that


and


splaying


them


out


for testing !
















but is it art ?


no


it's


not


it


smells


like


a


F


A


R


T !



mp3 tbu
















editoritis


when you feel you know more about the author's work than the author !
















sonnet xxiv



dante, i pray thee, if thou love discover

in any place where lappo gianni is,—

if't irk thee not to move thy mind in this,

write me these answered: “doth he style him 'lover'?”

and, “doth the lady seem as one approving?”;

and, “makes he show of service with fair skill?”;

for many a time folk made as he is, will

to assume importance, make a show of loving.

thou know'st that in that court where love puts on

his royal robes, no vile man can be servant

to any lady who were lost therein;

if servant's suff'ring doth assistance win,

our style could show unto the least observant,

it beareth mercy for a gonfalon.




“ cavalcanti's poem, in english as well as in italian, brings high standards to courtship, with courtly grace. i love this weird, unmodern translation by a modernist. how can something so good be done by someone so unintelligibly awful? i don't know. but I am glad to know that poem, and even more grateful for this one ”



the above comment by robert pinsky on the ezra pound's translation of cavalcanti's sonnet xxiv




my comment



ezra pound lived a very fragmented life, he had no experience of politics or economics but he was an expert in love having two, three and four lovers at various stages of his life !
















i


seem


to


be


quite


capable


of


doing


things


wrong


for

periods


of


15


30


60


and


80


years !
















braco is smart cause he doesn't say or claim anything unless in person

eastern religion combined with christian faith healing


it is deceivingly slick is what i noticed


well he is at his peak, say $500,000 a year ?

i think it will fade, he's getting older and less pretty


when i look at him it's very hard to understand the attraction

justin bieber he is not

















braco


a


spaced


out


fucker


visualise


him


without


the


hair


and


he


looks


the


sex


obsessed


businessman


he


is !
















braco


a


spaced


out


fucker


visualise


him


with


short


hair


and


he


looks


the


sex


obsessed


businessman


he


is !
















poetry


is


really


a


rational


discussion


about


life !
















the problem


women


have


is


when


they


are


young


they


are


locked


into


this


breeding


paradigm


which


doesn't


give


them


any


freedom


of


thought

and


when


they


get


older


the


hormones


go


and


they

are


wrecked !
















the problem


women


have


is


when


they


are


young


they


are


locked


into


this


breeding


paradigm


even


though


they


may


not


breed


and


when


they


get


older


the


hormones


go


and


they

are


wrecked !




ed.  not misogynist  : o ) , men have their issues too like being silly egoists all their life !


what i have written immediately above illustrates quite well the difference between poetic and non poetic writing, technically that should be “lives”, but “life” compounds also the sense of a man having this issue too, that is, the sentence blurrs and combines both the sense of an individual man (perhaps me  ;o ) and men generically !
















the human female


bonding


to


the


male

other species


don't


have


it


though


they


have

their


intensities !
















anatole


you


are


gullible


for


everything


except


sense !
















a


lot


of


what


we


do


is


quite


meaningless


and


often


it's


not


what

we


think


it's


quite


hard


to


get


that !
















a


lot


of


what


we


do


is


quite


meaningless


it's


quite


hard


to


get


that !
















there's


always


a


million


things


to


do


i


wish


it


wasn't


so


literally


true !


:


o


)


(




mp3 tbu
















you

can

be


direct

in


a

poem


and


not


direct


in


real

life


it's


safer !



mp3 tbu
















i think for creative genius, poe is hard to beat !


small


minds


attempt


to


defrock!
















oprah


at


58


you


can


have


a


ton


of


money


but


if


you


aren't


well


you


haven't


got


anything !
















“ i know this is probably a stupid question ”


not if you don't know the answer !
















when


anyone


replies


to


you


on

a

net


message


board


they


are


paying


you

a

compliment


they


do


think


you


are


worth


replying


to !
















imo musical  theory  is what ruins people as composers


it's


too


unsubtle


and


too


categorical


if


you


compose


by


those


lights


you


are


just


going


to


get


clichéd


junk !
















you know what i notice about the hard core zen blog? they are all completely untalented!


as musicians they suck, as writers they suck and as photographers they suck !


even as actors and a film director !


how can they be any better than the crippling mediocrity they are, rigid as dumbbells and absolutely incapable of undertaking any reasonable discussion or problem solving which might lead to a bettering of skills !



god


what


have


i


been


dealing


with ?
















well, mostly it comes too late for all of us, it came early for me and i forgot, it got lost is life's tempestuous stream


i'm not being critical but our stupidity is blinding !
















you


hit


a


null


spot


maybe


it's


accidental


i


don't


know


i


don't


think


so


it's


unusual


very


make


the


most


of


it


listen


to


what


it


said


not


the


babble


and


nonsense


humans


impose ...........


.


.


.


















who we are an intangible substance a shifting sliding stream flowing clear water tracing the long streamed/stringed algae through it



mp3


who we are an intangible substance a shifting sliding stream flowing clear water tracing the long stringed/streamed algae through it


who we are an intangible substance a shifting sliding stream flowing clear water tracing the long streamed algae through it


who we are an intangible substance a shifting sliding stream flowing clear water tracing the long stringed algae through it




ed. reply  to



the repeating is a sort of cadence
















S


B


silly


bitch !
















awareing


or


awareness


i


just


don't


know


what


the


fuck


it's


all


about !



mp3 tbu
















the


advaita


“ that ”


is


a


completely


false


construct !
















of the frontal rain coming down from victoria, warm and wet


more where what's here has come from


eileen comments :


oh andrew that was a funny muddle of words



my reply:


yeah got there in the end, it does make sense
















larry eigner    a gone



a gone, the world under the sky clouds all winter and summer the snow descends and occupies the ground


stars fill air with abstracted wings on crystalline lines and time between the stars a broken hinge


by the garage a flagpole mainstreet 5 cats yokked the world can't hold really too many absolutes but i am shattered and another time lost


while the sea slams the wind or lags an old woman's shoe flapping on the beach


and the awning was still there




can't find it written down on the web so have transcribed it  from 
















larry eigner    a gone



a gone, the world under the sky clouds all winter and summer the snow descends and occupies the ground


stars fill air with abstracted wings on crystalline lines and time between the stars a broken hinge


by the garage a flagpole mainstreet 5 cats yokked the world can't hold really too many absolutes but i am shattered and another time lost


while the sea slams the wind or lags an old woman's shoe flapping on the beach


and the awning was still there




can't find it written down on the web so have transcribed it  from



(later)  i have found  it  on the web in “the new american poetry”, 1945-1960, by donald allen
















no 7th patriarch  disapproved  is complete without an  unenlightenment  poem



my


name


is


fred


and


i


am


dead


and


i


came


to

life


and


took

a


wife


and


that


was


the


end


of


me


:


o


)


(
















fred, why don't you set yourself up as a teacher instead of  blathering  wasting your pearls of wisdom on brad's board?


i can't give you approval, but if strong disapproval is worth anything you have that


disapproved by the the 7th zen patriarch  a sure recipe for success  : o )


seriously, why not set up a website like this   nut   enlightened  being


you and the  “spiritual world”  deserve each other !


plus, think of the opportunities for  “liaisons”  as if this game is about anything else for men !  : o )


for women queen beeing seems to be a sufficient motivation !
















it's


never


too


young


to


be


disillusioned


with


life


or


is


there

a


too


young ?


yeah


i think


there's

a


too


young


:


o


)


(
















it's


never


too


young


to


be


disillusioned


with


life


or


is


there

a


too


young ?


yeah


i think


there's

a


too


young


:


o


)
















infinity is harder than is humanly possible, yet with attention and perseverance it can be done !


don't


panic


and


let


things


terminate


and


open


up in


their


own


way !
















the big difference


between us


is


i


am


always


breaking


and


being


broken

and


expect it


life


on the cross so to speak


will


i


reform


usually


i


do !


:


o


)


(
















all my life i walk through the fences, a bit cut and torn but generally not too bad, tho not always, i get sick of it but can't avoid it


it's just a question of how it occurs
















audio table for 17th march to come !

















i


always


go


through


the


boundaries


the


only


way


i


don't


go


through


the


boundaries


is


not


to

enter


into


an

area


and


even


then


it


can


snuck


up


on


me !




ed. the point is that it will always be something and all in all these upsets are actually probably the safest way to go, i don't mean other relationships or attachments but the whole life thing generally
















more and more as i get older


i'm into this


random


nature


of


problem


solving


that


is


mucking


around


with


alot


of


random


guesses


before


one


comes


to


a

solution


if


one


comes


to

a


solution !



mp3 tbu
















why did you delete that  poem i did in reply?  it's one of the best things i have ever written


don't underrate what you have written either, it's a very good poem, with a simple natural spacing and rhythm and spare simple meaning !


you asked a question and the reply was an answer and has deep meaning that will slowly open up to you !


i'm quite abit older than you and been through it all, if some-one had told me at your age what i understand now i would have been very appreciative !


i know where you are coming from and there's just nothing around that knows anything at all, just clichéd stupidity that goes on forever and takes down anything that shines like the bright red poppy !


our


lives


!


i have put your poem and my reply up under my poems, if it's not ok, i'll delete your poem, but they really go together !


what i wrote is not really that different from mystical christianity and one of john of the crosses poems about an island, but that sort of understanding is all lost these days !
















the sombrero  galaxy  in infrared
















kirtan kriya  meditation


basically chanting sa ta na ma and moving the fingers at the same time


study


claims


“in the study, the meditation group showed a 43 percent improvement in telomerase activity compared with 3.7 percent in the relaxation group.”


if that were true it would be like the fountain of youth  : o )
















poetic talent is more with the young i am afraid, but unformed the shards reflects the cuts and blood of the author


is


it


enough


what


is


enough !
















the poem below by madds, followed by my reply below the dotted line !



what is it to be alive?


why are we on this earth?


to exist?


to change it?


to destroy it?


why are we here?


do we have a purpose?


why are we here?




-----------------------------




purposeless being here


to make naught of what we cannot make


the dream shifts


under/

over


the


horizon


the


glass


fragments glint


in

a


hundred


directions


but


one


catches


the


rainbow !


multi-coloured


tears


are


shed !





ed. reply  to
















real dead pan is


  self ambiguating !


ed. that is, makes it unstable as to wether its a joke or satirisation or not, sort flicks back and forth


eileen replies


u mean it flikers into and out of joking?


is both


it's meant and not meant as serious
















i wonder if pink  is a feminine color


because


it's


the


colour


of


blood


watered


down !
















was he mad or  autistic?


or both?
















was he mad or  autistic?
















why is


everybody


so


dead?


blank


eyed


morons


cat


got


their


tongue


or


at


least


ran


away


with


it


socially


polite


to

the

point


of


complete


and


utter


boredom


minds


like


lavatory


bowls


clean


and


white


with


shit


in


yeah


this


great


aspiration


of


an


intelligent


being !




ed.  lavatory  is uk, australian and new zealand usage, or at least used to be, for what is also known as toilet
















george  bowman


i can relate, wasting his life trying to do something and knowing it's all pointless


not really being successfull


futile and aging .........................
















really quite  funny 


it is an italian divertenti candid camera episode


much wittier than the american


involves a womans head on a pavement being real, but the next pedestrian passing thinking it was a dummies head


there's abit more to it than meets the eye, like how we misperceive things based on continuity


as with a fair portion of net videos it pays to mute
















condemned  man's last words


if you see tears in my eyes it's not that i am sorry for myself, but i am returning to god or  that from whence we never came !


who


dies


me


or


you


you


will


never


understand this !
















my favourite yamabe no  akahito  poem



all-knowing, (the eternal palace)



all-knowing,

my great lord:

from the eternal palace,

wherein we serve,

on the field of sahiga,

looking back

at the isles far offshore:

where on the fresh, clean shoreline

with the blowing of the wind,

breakers roar

and with the ebbing of the tide,

they go cutting jewelled seaweed:

from the age of gods

an awesome,

jewelled mountain isle.
















all women are the tigresses that men spend their lives being eaten and mauled by


oh


so


willingly !


:


o


)


(
















the problem is always not what you do, but what you don't do that you could have been doing !
















i like poetry that crafts a different angle  : o )
















get  real !


spewing the fake they get upset at the little light of reality that intrudes !


xanax is a subtle depressant, it helps sleep and promotes GABA in a partial way, but you know the american way is to ignore diet and sensible things that can done for sleep like attention to coloured light to help modulate the circadian rhythm and and just pop a pill and ignore the word  “side effects”


   denial  denial  denial  !
















being a victim is not just a passive being bullied, but an active wrong mindedness and doing the wrong things that leave us exposed and vulnerable !



mp3
















ayanoma said...


andrew wrote:  you cannot afford the waste of a day that watching a movie does


please tell me who is watching a movie?



my reply :


that's quite a good point because in part it is the movie watching the movie !


so you take on the quality of the movie somewhat


one can compare say the jonathon miller 1966  television play  of  alice  in wonderland with umm..


say  hanna  by joe wright


is alice in wonderland one of the el supremo spiritual texts?


if you have this sort of contact with superior visions of reality then the advaita prattle doesn't just look impoverished, it looks mentally retarded !


“hanna”  if that's your horizon.................


alice in wonderland is not mundane, whereas i would say there is a sort of sickness with watching hanna


suzanne, if you are reading this, i really suggest that you do not watch films like hannah for the sake of your mental health


i'm already crazy enough without watching that sort of thing  ; o )
















fundamentally you have to be honest about understanding something !


a child can see past the advaita  the mundane is the infinite


but


apparently


adults


can't !
















they are at last  drawing  dinosaurs as birds !


check out the high resolution  jpgs  !
















at


some


point


the


talk


fails


surprisingly !
















time is the wound and  the tears are hope !




















time is the wound and tears are hope !





ed. reply  to
















they scorn my efforts, introduce them, remove them,  more fool i !
















you are not fake,  but if you act fake,  you are going to be ripped apart !
















you are not fake, but if you act fake, you are going to be ripped apart !
















the


proof


of


you


not


getting


it


right


is


the


way


you


behave


an


idiot


bends


over


back

wards


to


help


well


that's


why


he


is


an


idiot


isn't


he


:


o


(


)
















the


proof


of


you


not


getting


it


right


is


the


way


you


behave


an


idiot


bends


over


back

wards


to


help


well


that's


why


he


is


an


idiot


isn't


he


:


o


)


(
















i hate to see a gift squandered but you won't help yourself so ......
















these silly young women


broken dolls


how


can


love


turn


out


right


for


them?

who


is


going


to


be


upset


by


the


breaking


china


but


them?
















twoffle, a portmanteau of twaddle, piffel and offal



mp3 tbu
















twoffle, a portmanteau of twaddle and piffel
















yeah, too stringent to be  sappy ,  yet not stringent enough to be great !


“ the night sky opened up, a cantankerous void that we disappeared into? ”


ed. my reply deleted !
















the naked  face


today's


woman


plenty


of


cleavage


and


a masked


up


face !
















i can always entertain that i am completely wrong because correct understanding stands by itself, if i abandon it, it is there unyielding for my return !


the morons clutch and grasp at what was not there in the first place
















in the end you have to go on your own experience and actually if you are talking to infinity it's pretty garrulous !
















suzanne foxton  writes 


many thanks for the fraud comment. noted. what is an advaita turge?



my reply:


turge is a very dense portmanteau/neologism


combining the latin turge/turgeo meaning “inflated swollen bombastic”


the english turbid, turgid, turd, surge, purge


i guess you will know what hyperlexia means  ; o )


we are the exclusion of the infinite, theology and philosophy 101


at times in life we are the identity of the infinite withourselves and that is what your  “awakening experience”  is about


one sees it in a way that one remembers and that's what is so important


i had a similar experience about 1992 and its taken me literally about 18 years to make reasonable sense of it


i have actually found advaita quite helpful as they don't rubbish that sort of thing like they do in zen, but it's really a beginning and it's very noticable in advaita how they don't progress from that experience


generally my observation is teaching stops progress and inducts all sorts of less than wonderful health problems so i for one keep clear !


i don't say the fraud question is unmixed, you have done two very unfraudlike things, you have replied in a humorous and courteous vein, ie you can handle my posts and have not banned me or removed my posts which is the usual


in fact i would say you are the first person in this sort of area not to ban me or remove my posts in response to direct criticism !


of course they lack that direct contact with infinity so they never understand the role of self abatement revealing ..... so to speak !


in plain english there's sorta two levels, the prosaic one which is the daily life thing, trying to bring some observational powers to what life is and how it works and building in a cautious openness and skills for that like you have in your reply


that people can understand and can actually be taught somewhat tho self-taught is again really what it all boils down too


and there are relatively exceptional events which are an identity or a strong identity occurrence in infinity and actually they may occur relatively frequently


but the reality of most of life is what i call  seeming which is just the humdrum as you point out, only where advaita goes wrong is it elevates this seeming to the identity with infinity , so when they say that i know they are missing the understanding and experience of infinity and it's missing even in the best advaita teachers i am afraid !


in all my experience and travelling over many many years, toni packer and perhaps george bowman were the only ones that seemed to understand that


it's like a basic law, hardly anyone understands, maybe one or two in a generation and that's about it, where you have a mass approach and advaita and zen are like that you don't have adequate understanding or experience !


in poetry like charles bukowski, syliva plath, emily dickenson, larry eigner it's much clearer, i think because there is so much natural ability !
















a


long


line


of


words


could


be


a


haiku


:


o


)
















a little accident of cojoined sperm


male


or


female


i'd


rather


be


neither


but


if


i


had


to


be


one


female


is


too

scary


even


for


female !





ed. reply  to
















what i notice with a good poem, like a really good one, they sorta get shocked and don't comment, but later you see that people copy aspects, subjects and themes like you might notice more people using different spellings from the normal


what i have noticed is it's not possible to comment effectively on a poem, you can only write a poem in reply !
















“ hope ur not offended but...... ”


it's fairly strong wording to imply someone will be offended, if you are casual with it there is a price
















the more i learn about circulation, especially about the difficulties with venous pooling below the knee  the less i like zazen


infinity or buddha is not going to be constrained by position or movement or non movement or a concept such as meditation !


   zazen is an act of disbelief and anesthetization !
















i've got a brain impediment and i would rather have been dead years ago but somehow i just keep on living


:


o


)


(


)

















the thing about reading the hardcore zen blog is your life gets submerged in theirs


whose


life


is


better ?


mine


frankly !



mp3 tbu
















fred (ed. hardcore zen blog) the problem with you guys is you are not interested in what it's about, you are invested in your own understanding and can't abandon it !


the understanding exists independent of you or me or anything and if you abandon it it's still there


because your understanding is so mismatched with what's occurring you react in two ways, limiting your horizons so you have less stress in testing any hypothesis, and remembering what you have learnt so you can impose that on reality


shore that up with a heap of denial and you have voilà, any religion, brad warner, the hardcore zen blog and a lot or most matrimonial relationships !


the truth of the matter is you are, whether retired or not,  waiting at the end of time,  just passing the time in a way you find conducive to not thinking in a meaningful way about life or anything !


advaita is a bit different because of the strong female influence, more psychotic !


i am not  waiting at the end of time  so the ways have parted !


you are all going to live your tidy lives, die your tidy deaths, get your tidy operations and never notice you are being crucified along the way !
















audio table for 10th march to come !

















Contemplating

That's all I do

The way I am

I Estimate the existence of my self

Constantly in thought

Ever wondering Ever doubting

Never knowing

But always

Guessing




I got more for this pome but my spelling sucks and I don't Wish to have my pomes suffer for it so I won't post it till I get it spelled checked by a friend


the above by  Rangzona 





andrew's reply




rather


than


guess


let


a


conclusion


form


and


then


test? !





the full original poem by rangzona




Contemplating

That's all I do

The way I am

I Estimate the existence of my self

Constantly in thought

Ever wondering Ever doubting

Never knowing

But always

Guessing



To see what I see

You have to be hath insane

To understand my mind

You'll have to be out of yours



For mine never stops

Reality ever changing

My thoughts mourthing

Twisting



And me I'm alwase changing

New revelation

Every moment of the day

Never staying in one state of mind

Just who I am

Day to day

I can be some one new

And you'll never notis

For I never show it



This reality all you see is a guy

But in mine

I don't even call my self human

I'm some thing more and less

I controle my fate

And my fate contrules me

I am draged by my love

And I hold it up

I show my heart

And never die



My reality is so much more beautiful

But much more painfull

For I got to come back to this reality

Wear all my dreams are just that

And I mean nothing more than what I can do



Contemplations

That's my reality

That's what drives me

That's what I see

When all is clear

I see questions

Where none exist

This reality is my damnation

And my reality is my redemption





yeah that is very good, i enjoyed it !


your spelling is interesting, it's what is called  phonetic,  that is, you spell as it sounds and sometimes you blurr words together a bit into one word


in other words what you write is valid as is with maybe one or two corrections


“My thoughts mourthing” that's what's called a neologism, you have made a new word, maybe a combination of mouthing and morphing? or did you mean one of those words


i quite like mourthing as a word


imo your poems are better for mostly having your own original spelling !


i think it would be helpful for your friends to identify which words they think are misspelled and for you to make the final decisions as what to change and what not!


interestingly james joyce used the word  pome  for  poem!


i don't think what i am saying is sinking in, you will just have to keep coming back to it !
















google is great for checking spelling cause you can explore variant spellings, most popular is not necessarily best !