this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items that don't warrant a page by themselves or seem to fit better here



chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page



layout is done with the internet explorer text size setting at  largest  and with a zoom of 125%, though i don't have an opinion on any correct size per se



links are in the  times new roman  font  

















the


constant


imbibing


of


information


going


where

and

for


what ?
















“ if


it's


not


easy


don't


do


it  ! ”


“ not


much

would


get


done ! ”
















successful


campaigns


are


made


by


picking


off


the


weak


one


at

a


time !
















“ the mills of the gods grind slow, but they grind sure ”


i'd just say they  grind slow
















smile


in


the


sun


winter


is


just

a

round


the


corner !


:


o


)
















well what's the point of doing all this  divinity  stuff when in terms of what it's about it's SO wrong minded ?


whatever you call it, god, buddha, absolute nature, IT's an ANATHEMA to it!



everything


is


telling


you


it's


wrong


your


approach


is


wrong


and


it


has


always


been


WRONG !
















more


than


anything


it


seems


like


cinema


a


few


themes


intertwined


how


long


1,970


years ago?
















the


problem


of


translating

a


meaning


from


one


language


to


another


is


very


demanding


i


don't


know


if


translators


suffer


from


nervous


breakdowns


but


they


should


:


o


)
















a


woman



can


handle


anything


except


her


infirmities


being


pointed


out !
















never


fight


the


enemy


where


and


when


he


is


strong !


after


all


the


aim


is


to


win

and


not


get


damaged !


:


o


)
















evolution


in


physics


occurs


in

a



different


way


things


which


exist


more


exist


more !
















you


can't


argue


with


idiots


just


leave


them


be !
















why


would


i


talk


to


you


when


i


can


talk


to


eternity ?
















to


what


extent


is


it


just


the


the


endless


same


story ?
















the


number


of


people


who


have


any


sort


of


discriminating


ability


about


life


is


very


limited
















nothing


turns


out


i


never


do


it


well


enough


i


am


a

bona


fide


disaster


area !


:


o


)
















of course if  this  were zen they would make pretend fruit and i wish i could say “pretend” eat it, but they probably really eat the “pretend” fruit


i think you are at the stage of discovering it's all pretend!
















in the light of infinity


the


command


of


women


is


more


tenuous !




well


women


are


commanded


by


children


too


so


it's


all


sorta


endless


:


o


)



so


ultimately


men


are


commanded


by


children


what


are


children


commanded by?


i


think


they


are


commanded


by


life's


more


abstract


features


actually !
















life


is


this


constant


process


of


forming


illusions


and


being


disillusioned


by


events !
















why spend your life gurgitating this  rubbish !



leaving


returning to


one


wanking


you


never


leave !



just


a


bunch


of


clichιs


you


can't


hack


it


can


you ?
















why


be


a


mediocrity


when

you


can


be


a


mediocrity ?
















“ the


dark


ships


sail


on


the


black


sea ”


“ the


black


sea


sparkles


with


light ! ”
















charles


bukowski


was


all


about


women


and


sex


his


weakness
















bleeding


was


an


iron


 removal


   strategy !
















i thought


i


heard


voices


i


did


hear


voices !


what


were


they


saying


life


passes


and


nothing


much


matters !
















last night at midnight i was  out in the moonlight !


reply  to
















menedev


putin


is


a


sort

of


natural


“ boss ”


shall


we


say


but


you


have


sort


of


grown


into


it


which

is


more


interesting


to


me


than


natural


ability !


yes


i


know


russian


politics


is


pretty


thuggish


long


tradition


that


going


back


to


before


the


czars


bloody


and


brutal !
















people


have


an


idea


children


are


themselves


but


children


are


always


totally


strangers
















what


the


“ black


pearl ”


is


i


don't


know


at


the


end


of


24


years


or


so

you


may


be


able


to


look


back


and


say


that


was


the


black


pearl !
















as


a

rule


i


don't


do


well


with


shares


because


i


am


gullible


impulsive


and


don't


do


the


homework !


any

number


of

sharks


out


there


ready


to


take


your


money


off


you !
















springwater


caught


ina



neo-advaita


time


warp !
















communal


groupings


why


is


it


wrong ?


because


you


are


all


that


exists !


  there 


   is ! 
















“ now ”


is


a


wrong


turning !
















i


spend


half


my


time


in


the


past


and


future


:


o


)
















god


i


can't


even


be


sick

without


writing !
















i

am


here



by


invitation


self


actually


:


o


)
















i don't think


i


am


schizophrenic


mentally


retarded


and


autistically


in


competent


certainly !
















meditation


the


way


modern


life


is


one


does


not


need


more


restricted


circulation !
















my


experience


is


there


are


somethings


which


can


only


be


expressed


through


inconsistencies
















you


cannot


control


another


universe


not


even


slightly


it


has


to


be


of


it's


own


volition !
















meditation is psychosis


“ here


and


now ”


is


a


concept !


advaita


springwater


zen


 .


 .


 .


 .
















with


women


love


is


possessive


what


they


love


they


want


for


themselves
















men


and


women


colour



reality


differently !
















if


you


saw


it


you


would


know


that


teaching


being

a



teacher


and


being


taught


are

a



waste


of


time


charlene


you


just


want


to


spew


your


effluent


all


over


the


world !
















you


can


get


what


you


want


and


then


discover


you


don't


want


it !
















you are actually getting quite a bit stronger and people's natural response is to suck you into their situations more to help them
















what


is


the


wind ?


it


just


blows


past


us


don't


we


know


   .


   .


   .


   .
















well


there's


an


equanimity


that


comes


from


having


no


children


:


o


)
















your


problem


is


a


deep


flaw


in


understanding


reality


at


the


brain


level !


i


can't


criticize


you


without


criticising


your


brain !


you


are


not


plastic


in


that


way !
















you


are


fitting


me


to


your


projection !
















you


are


limited


by


your


own


understanding


i


am


not .
















the


reclining


buddha


is


a


fiction !
















you


disbelieve


in


anything


except


your


own


egoic


view


of


the


universe !  .
















anybody


who


teaches


zen


is


a


fraud
















another


egoic


drug


damaged


musician


there's


something


wrong


with


their


brains !
















they


didn't


ask


me


i


imposed


myself


that's


a

much


better


way


it


should


be !
















dogen


only


partly


knew


what


he


was


on


about !


it's


all


a

lot


simpler


if


you


don't


take


him


as


some


rock


solid


gospel !
















zen


masters


and


buddhas


of


the


ten


worlds


wipe


my


bum


before


breakfast !
















“ The black dragon’s pearl is tirelessly guarded by the black dragon, but it rolls naturally into the hand of a person who knows how to take it.”


  the black dragon is its own pearl !


    no-one ever took it who was rolled into it !




you


don't


know


what


it


is

or

you


wouldn't


mumble


on


about


“ realisation ”
















you


can


help


those


who


hurt


you


but


don't


deliberately


hurt


those


who


help


you


though



of


course


hurt


is


unavoidable !
















or  it's  just a load of confused garbage


   confused, confused and obfuscative these old zen stories !



the


monk


had


no


reply


they


never


do !
















friendship


a

l

w

a

ys


g

o

e

s


w

r

o

n

g

!
















polymath ?


bumptious


muddler


might


be


closer


to


the


truth !
















you


get


to

a

point


when


you


can


see


such


a


thing


is


then


you


have


to


ask


why


should


sucha


thing


be ?
















building


things


out


of


nowhere


there's


a

lot


of


power


in


that !
















just


a


dull


ordinary


mystic


wannabe


not


prepared


to


pay


the

price !


the


christian


scenario


for


mystics


is


over !
















i hate to say this but voices are wrong, a vision is different but  you  have yet to learn that !


you have made a new alabaster jar !



phoney !


teresa


of


αvila


you


are


not !
















why


are


the


italians


so


good


looking

a

s


a


race?


bloody


too


many good


looking


slave


women


in


the

days


of


empire !
















eileen


i


keep


looking


for


your


umber


sky


where


is


it ?
















put


enough


time


and


energy


into


something


and


you


can


pretty


well


get


anywhere


if


your


health


holds


up


if


it


doesn't


hold


up

.

.

.

.
















i


think


if

you


can


call


yourself


a


teacher


you


don't


understand


what


it's


about !


impart


some


information


and


methods


maybe


with

a

huge


dollop


of


scepticism


about


final


results


and


methods


and


you


are


a

tiny


fraction


of


the


way


there

and

that's


about


all


that


can


be


done !
















message


boards


90%

clueless


10%


clued


1%


very


clued !
















life


is


a


fraught


nightmare
















the  problem  with spiders


is


what


they


inject !
















everything


is


very


unforgiving
















“ nobody


cares ”


you


need


that


memory


of


remembrances


to


keep


an


even


keel


in


the


appreciation


of


one's


life
















writing


stuff


that


stays


on


wikipedia


is


like


doing

a


cross


word


puzzle


:


o


)
















sometimes


i


find


it


hard


to


believe


i


can


get


things


so


wrong !
















why


am


i

so


crucified ?
















there's


sex


objects


there's


also


parent


objects


that


same


using


and


lack


of


consideration !
















yeah human females have a highly tuned sense of suitable MHC's


which is why mating is a matter of female choice in humans


and  sparrows !
















brad warner


ability


without


knowing


what


emptiness


is !
















it's

a


question


not


a


statement


so


how


do

you


visualize


the


void ?
















a


little


step


In


a


big


step


OUT !
















i


don't


like


zen


i


got


really


really


damaged


by


it,


how


damaged


has


taken


me


an


awful


long


time


to


see !
















it took me years to understand dogen was psycho ! he's half baked and this of course is his appeal since the half baked can mean anything and will always be incomprehensible !


the giant con game that ZEN IS SO GOOD AT !
















well


they


don't


particularly


want


to


be


saved


so


spare


them

the


trauma !
















what


is


it


about


what

w

e


do


that


is


self


defeating ?


we


are


entrenched


on


evolutionarily


designed


behaviors !
















how


do


you


visualize


the


void ?
















they


injured


me


i


am


injuring



them


by


not


helping


them


!


that's

a



start !
















injure


those


who


injure


you


be


hard


to


know


where


to


start


wouldn't


it


:


o


)


well


START !
















btw the galaxy will be  destroyed  in 5 - 6 billion years


well the earth will not be habitable imo
















there


is


always


a


million


miles


to


go !


that


is

the


nature


of


infinity !
















all


my


work


you


would


think


that


something


comes


together


but

nothing


ever


does !
















“ practice ”


is


an


interior


notion


of


some


forms


of


zen


buddhism


relating


to


“ spiritual


improvement ”


and


deeply


flawed


words


fail


me


how


flawed !
















what


is


sleep


where


is


sleep


will


i


go


to


sleep ?


i


don't


know
















most


of


what

i


write on wikipedia


is


against


the


grain


counter-intuitive


saying


something


unpalatable


you


have


to


be


very


careful


how


you


do

it


disguise


it


in


politically


correct


stuff


a


wolf


in


sheep's


clothing


so


to


speak !
















wikipedia


and


message


boards


are


counter-


intuitive


you end


up


hurt


wether


you


are


reader


or


writer


i


hope


these


homilies


have


provided


some

theories


of


mind


to


navigate


these


treacherous


rapids !
















now


i'm


hurting


you


who


i


help !
















my


problem


is


i

pay


too


much


attention


do


what


does


cease


and


not


enough


to


what


doesn't


cease !
















the


only


way


to


keep


your


sanity


on


wikipedia


is

to



mirror


what


you

write


so


it's


not


lost !
















what


gives


me


pleasure ?


i


don't


think


anything


including


sex


does !
















it


is


looking


like


the


faith


mind


sutra


is

a


corrupt


abridgement


of


the


mind inscription


by


niu-t'ou fa-jung


which


is


much

more


readable


though an odd blend of good insight


in


parts


and


being

screwed up


in


others !


not


so


odd


really


probably


another


composite !
















when


you


make


a


mistake


try


to


use


that


mistake


to


effect


an


improvement !
















the


faith


mind


sutra


a


seductive


piece


of


BULLSHIT  !

















what


it's


all


about


it's


just


the


uterus


baby !
















once


you


are


out


of


something


you


can


look


and


see


what


it


is !
















“ men are from mars, women are from venus ”


“ women are from mars, men are from venus ”
















we


are


only


wherever


we


are


temporarily !
















sex


is


it's


own


decay
















the


angry


morons


you


think


you


can

beat


them


but


you


can't


except



b

y



avoiding



them !
















people


like


me


i


don't


think


you


can


age


conventionally


:


o


)
















men


and


women


united


in


exhibitionism

















there's


more


to


his


life


than


my


comments


about


it !
















Look


to


the


Old


and


What


They


Do !


They


Have



a


few


CLUES


SOMEtimes !


; o )
















your


own


dying


is


more


fundamental


than


the


destruction


of


the


world!


GO


FUCK


YOUR


FACES


JEHOVAHS


WITNESSES !
















They


Hurt


Those


That


Help


Them


and


Help


Those


That


hurt


them
















what's


my


name ?


i


am


a


witch

a


bitch


a


ditch !


my


name


is


woman !
















he hurts


those


that


help


him


and


and


he


helps


those


that


hurt


him !
















more


and


more


i


am


coming


to


the


solipsist


viewpoint


when

w

e

die


everything


ceases
















how


many


miles


must

a


man


wear


down


before


he


becomes


himself


the


answer


my


friend


is


blowing


in


the


wind


blowing


in


the


wind
















the


compendium


the


one


spot


in


the


universe


you


can

find


everything !
















pomplamoose


nothing


great


by


themselves


but


together


they're


a


good


combination !
















the


female


orgasm

a


mystery


to


the


male


:


o


)
















there's


a


clarity

with


celibacy


as


well

as


confusion !
















there's


so


much


craziness


around


it's


depressing
















there's


some


sad


truths


about


poetry


one


of


which

is


poems


mean


most


to


those


who


write


them !
















atheists


are


just


as


rigid


as


 christians 


the


religious !
















the notion of  “bad art”  is just up one's self snobbery by those who don't do anything !
















visualize  her  as a granny of 80!



life's


a

cycle


i


just


don't


think


people


“ get ”


it


lol


!
















 he  is correct that the myths and stories are myths and stories but to say that god is not you have to say what god is !


she was actually correct and basically he is wrong and he's not hearing it



hope


this


is


not


too


subtle


for


you


the


reader


:


o


)
















true


art


is


born


to


poverty


and


lifetime


nonentity !
















some of  them  if by a famous artist would be worth millions which just confirms every feeling i have about the art market basically being a con, but the pictures on this site are consistently more interesting than any gallery i have seen !
















it's


better


to


spend


time


with


the


living


than


the


dead !
















things


are


empty


and


they


continue


that's


just


how


it


is !
















i'm


burying


the


dead


which


happens


to


be


zen
















mandelstham


and


akhmatova


were


the


potent


couple


they


strongly


influenced


and


informed


each


other !



they


sorta


accelerated


each


other !
















why


is


life


so


difficult ?


never


ending


and


unceasing


trouble


it's


because


it


is


an


image !
















i


think


women


are


over-


invested


in


love


as


an


answer !
















sylvia


plath's


marrying


ted


hughes


was



a

disaster


of


biblical

proportions


but


he

was


not


responsible


for


her


suicide


the


doctor


prescribing


the


anti-


depressant

she


had


previously


had


a


bad


reaction


to


was !


and


her


self


i


guess


she


was


overenamoured


of


the


medical


system !
















you


raise


children


but


you


have

no


purpose


life


is


essentially


purposeless


get


it ?


:


o


)
















the


rabid


dogs


of


formalism


:


o


)