this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don’t warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here

pending poems  index

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of  the page

audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed  !

when women who have abused drugs and alcohol hit perimenopause, the shit hits the fan

to be fair, being  “ ravaged ”  can have other causes, enviromental pollution, shoddy genetics and each pregnancy ages a woman by years

jeanne calment  had one daughter, one child might be optimal for female longevity

“ you talk about drugs  .  .  .  .   a lot

why is that ? ”

i include alcohol

modern life is just a waste land of drug induced brain damage

hedonists only understand pleasure, they don’t understand its failure

i think the point of the  myth of sisyphus  is he wants to roll the boulder back up

my writing is nsfw ?

nsf products of american education ?

my writing is nsfw lol ?

nsf products of american education ?

nsf drug and alcohol induced brain damage ?

arrogance comes from self-blinkering

your arrogance comes from self-blinkering

is r|zen memetic ?

a confluence of several strands of western philosophical thought that particularly suits drug culture and promiscuity, both strands of which have been heavily present in western zen for seventy years

nihilistic consent which is passive acceptance of what life throws at us

presentism/momentism which has an anti-historical bias

obscurationism which is the validation of impressive  (at least to the quoter and writer)  sounding nonsense

it increasingly seems that raw salads have to be pasturized/lightly cooked  to eat safely

the mechanism is horizontal gene transfers of virulence factors between bacteria

neither buddha nor jesus nor muhammad existed historically

“ presentism ”  is the mark of a drug culture

ask alan watts, he knows

when i fast i will take a teaspoon or more of jam in hot water once a day to keep the  “ right microbiome ”  in the stomach fed with some sugar and not let the  “ protein eating ”  microbiome dominate

fucked in the head is fucked in the head

what good is seated meditation if you believe in a soap opera character like  “ buddha ” ?

the problem is not reading, but reading and believing stupidity

if you do the  “ spiritual work ”  for real, you won’t get tangled up in personalities and waste of time conflict

you may even be able to stop the endless stupid quoting for an imagined verification

“ druggies ”  dribble

calling it


usual  “ druggie ”  meaningless waste of time reply

usual misapplied druggie persistence

i had forgotten i had  this monologue  by anaïs nin up on my vimeo channel

i can't find it anywhere else on the web

you’re the usual addict posting meaningless crap

“ you are a sad human being my friend ”

you’re a totally sick stupid weirdo who eats his own farts

the child subsumes the man

and the man subsumes the child



child wins

there’s no-one more confused than a person who passes off meaningless tripe as having a coherent meaning

well, that and the audience that takes him seriously

the best way to take taurine seems to be mixed with cream

i find  “ takeaway ”  chips quite a digestible way of eating potato, but the moment you use a tomato sauce with sugar in, you get into trouble

“ meaning ”  is a sphere within which we are all bound, escape is possible, however its not through no-meaning

300 oils and 30,000 watercolours and sketches unsold at his death, j.m.w. turner’s  genius  was the product of work

basically hitler and the nazis rose to power because they forcibly took a license to rob then destroy the most productive part of the population, they had always lost the war before they even started

diction, contradiction, hiccupiction

fabulation, confabulation

i think most people on r|zen are under the delusion that the more often they repeat something the more true it becomes

then one day the bodhisattva of compassion steps out in front of them, kisses them on the brow, they see the light and leave the subreddit

i think most people are under the delusion that the more often they repeat something the more true it becomes

tar babies weep tears of tar

“ what’s enlightened mean ?

from my understanding its when you go with the flow and don’t associate with your body and thoughts

anyone care to comment ? ”

there’s something to  “ going with the flow ”  but that's more a skill that comes and is built

enlightenment is a definite discovery and the clarification of that discovery over a lifetime which is why you need to live a long time, though as long as joshu might be pushing it a bit : o)

“ how do you know if somebody is enlightened ? ”

you can tell by what they say

if you are enlightened you are quite aware of what it is

surprisingly almost all present day  “ zen teachers ”  are not enlightened

language is a type of thought

what is thought

 what is speaking ?

renoir and monet used  to paint  the same scene together

“ Ugh. ”

a frog swallows its own breath

“ Ugh. ”

the frog swallows its own breath

a 7th patriarch koan

does reality have a  ‘ final cause  ‘  and if so, what is it ?

ed.  final causality is a term with a long philosophical history

tattoos themselves are retained by what is essentially an  “ allergic response ”

black inks are very high in nanoparticles

patriarchs have to occur, its just happens to be me ! : o)

“ a question  :   do you think zen masters went around actually saying that they were enlightened ? ”

i’m a patriarch and not a zen master, the world starts and stops with me and what i do and say

i actually have a contempt for zen masters, puling idiots not yet off their mother’s milk

you are going backwards as much as forwards

you are trying to pretend that the quote is valid

i am saying is its such nonsense you can’t say anything sensible about it

you just write crazy shit about crazy shit

you are chronically depressed posting on a subreddit of manic crazies

its like a lamb walking into a pride of lions

“ of the thousand and ten thousand people pursuing this mystical matter, only three or five attain ”

more like one in a billion from my experience

an interesting  account  of the way things were for german soldiers towards the last days of world war 2

master baofeng jun pontificates

yunmen only sees the sharpness of the awl

he does not see the squareness of the chisel

my retort

an idiot takes a sledge hammer pretending to sew

mat-su said to the assembly

when one knows all forms to be empty,‭ then birth is identical with no-birth

the assembly bickered quietly amongst themselves

the 7th patriarch said to the fawning minions

when one knows all forms to be full,‭ then no-birth is identical with rebirth

the minons swooned with admiration

he knew too young




a mouldering corpse





he knew too young




a mouldering corpse




the  “ tar baby ”  throws out some tar

“ what do you think a  ‘ tar baby ’  is ? ”

the  “ tar baby ”  is caught by some tar

cypis  asks

can anyone say something that is neither true nor not true ?

my  reply

this statement is false

insanemembranezz replies to me

this statement is both true and false

my  reply

its  “ neither true nor not true ”  since it cannot be what it is

the  “ tar baby ”  throws out more tar

“ what happens if i don’t do the work ?   (ed. of zen)

what will happen to me throughout eternity ? ”

will you marry and have children ?

“ i probably will marry but probably won’t have children ”

some women don’t want children, but most do

its just a different life, that’s where the focus goes

“ gesshin ”  greenwood’s brain is a wreck from drug taking in her younger days

there’s an explanation for everything

one of the big advantages of youtube and video is it takes you out of your culture and different cultures have different permissions of what it is socially and legally acceptable to post, or show in real life, for example, russian car cams and this  documentary  of debt collection in indonesia

hitler was more of  a mixed bag  than the way he is painted today

a childless man, he was riven with contradictions

zen/mysticism requires work :   extensive quality reading and solitary contemplation neither of which you do

philological research is such a basic requirement for translating old documents yet it is almost entirely ignored and as a result many translations bear no resemblance to the source document

why such laziness ?

the famous poem that dajian huineng wrote in competition with yuquan shenxiu is saying is that any ideas about approaching  “ final causality ” ,  “ the absolute ”  god/buddha/whatever from our conventional way of looking at things; practice, being holy/good etc. are misguided

i’m not treating you like an idiot, but it does no good because you treat yourself like an idiot

it could be 500 years since anyone authentic has talked sensibly about  ‘ the visionary  ‘

i really don’t like to talk about  ‘ the visionary ’  because people wilfully misinterpret it

shinzen young is quoted from his book  “ the science of enlightenment ”  to me about hallucinations happening after five or six years of meditation

“ once it gets going its there all your waking hours often ”

recurrent hallucinations are a well known side effect of  LSD

as a depressive he may have been  on ssri’s

“ so that means when you’re just walking around or whatever you’re seeing stuff all day

 and in my case it was mostly, but not exclusively, giant insects ”

that’s not visionary, that’s hallucinatory and psychotic

he’s just another drug wreck? and certainly no franz kafka

the BBC working for free to help  sustain  the value of diamonds

just looks like coloured glass to me

more  interesting

bad writing is written to fit a schema when what you want is the other way around, a schema which is hard to elaborate on may emerge from good writing

‘ so me being the seventh  (or 2nd)  patriarch may be play, it may be reality, i’m just keeping an eye out for contradiction and so far i haven’t found anything ’

“ besides your vision, what other evidence do you have that you are the 7th Patriarch ? ”

what you are asking, is the vision entirely consonant with what is known as physical reality

does it have to be?,  like john of the cross’s vision of christ on a cross  (salvador dali made some famous paintings of it)  is not of an historical jesus on a cross since there was no historical jesus to start with, but actually i think it was john himself on the cross

i am leaving open the question of whether it has to be, but my research shows me that my own visionary experience was a real event

1.   huineng was an historical person, though much about him is legend

2.   information can travel across time according to astrophysics

3.   none of huineng’s supposed  “ dharma heirs ”  were enlightened, they were just part of the lineage fiction

4.   mazu was not given transmission by huineng, so in fact huineng never had any dharma heirs

5.   as a side note mazu was in fact the first patriarch of his own tradition

6.   huineng was celibate and in fact the sort of zen of huineng and joshu had is only attainable  (not quite black and white though)  by celibates, basically its a full-time lifetime job, and i am celibate

people don’t realise modern western zen is actually a political construct of the meiji era in japan to break the control the old zen had and forced monks to marry and it all got bound up in the disastrous  “ ultra nationalism ”  of the wars japan then embarked on

so basically its a fit and being called  “ the 7th patriarch ”  is simply some sort of accounting according to the bookkeeping real life zen uses

visionary experience itself cannot be justified to anyone else and frankly i never believed in it before it happened so i expect my reality as the 7th patriarch will be regarded sceptically

you see a lot of references to  “ doubt ”  in zen, i have no doubt about the seeing and being of  ‘ final causality ’

this can only come from total immersion in the question for decades

its easier to pretend, but the pretenders still doubt

i have just been down a very long road and the distance is so great from what the  “ conventional ”  view sees that i don’t expect any understanding by them

i don’t  “ have ”  to be the 7th patriarch, its the way real life zen views transmission however

but i have  “ effectively ”  been approved by the sixth patriarch and i really feel that’s the case after many years of looking

the other thing is you can actually see what the  “ masters ”  are talking about, the endless reproval of idiots thinking they know what its about is the same as now, that i am the only one who understands amidst a sea of the hubric grasping of unwashed pretenders is entirely how it has occurred historically

“ do you think all visions are true ?

if not, how do you know if a vision is true or not ? ”

i’m very reluctant to talk about what makes a true vision or not because people just plagiarize

its such a profound experience i can’t really explain it

it will not happen to most people because they do not want it to happen, the consequences are too life disrupting

“ can you try to explain it ?

i’ve met many, many, many people who have had visions and I’ve had my share as well ”

in terms of  “ zen ”  or  “ god ”  its the entry into a mystical truer world, i don’t know it necessarily need be entirely true, you may not actually remember a lot of it, there’s quite a bit more going on than you can see

its a fugue space and can happen differently

presumably there is a continuum of experience, some of which is more valid than others and i think this is where the difficulty arises, you have to sort out what is more valid and feed back the validity in your life to amplify your tracking of  “ true reality ”

there is absolutely no stasis or  “ resting position ”  as claimed by various religious and mystical texts over the ages except some  “ visionary experiences ”  can be but certainly not all

i stand by what i write, you are welcome to repeat it, just credit the source

“ why would i bother ? ”

well well, the  story  of the two wells

well you have a general of enquiry, don’t expect any quick resolution

just ask around and research and the pieces will either come together or they won’t

“ who is it that’s enlightened  (besides  ‘ you ’  )  by your standards? ”

no-one alive that i know of ,  toni packer  in the recent past

one of the teachers at springwater, susan schepp looks sorta ok, but i don’t know her

george bowman possibly as well

i guess it gets sorta grey

the vast majority are pretending idiots

“ what do your thoughts tend to be ? ”

mostly trying to fix unreal problems, while ignoring  “ real ”  problems

net message boards

so many pretenders to authenticity and honesty

why not concern yourself with what’s true rather than what you want to be true ?

reading  “ dumb ”  is going to make you  “ dumb ”

reading  “ dumb ”  is going to make you dumb

reading dumb is going to make you dumb

i can’t help your  “ schizophrenia ”

i have never studied zen because  “ zen ”  itself is a literary construct and fiction

despite endless quotes from  “ the masters ”  zennists really don’t seem to get the message

i tell the ignorant what they don’t want to hear

buddha was initially a  merchant banker  and not slow to speil financial advice

the buddhist notion of  “ practice ”  is absolute bullshit promulgated by the retarded to the retarded

some people have more defenses than the maginot line

more defenses than the maginot line

to a pea brain like yourself with a limited perception of what needs to be said your surmise might appear to be true

to anyone of intellectual and literary sophistication its not

the problem with psychedelics is because they change brain function so drastically, that permanent damage is on the cards

if reddit is anything to go by, there is a massive amount of damage out there and camille paglia says that LSD wrecked the brains of academics of her generation

to seek  “ truth ”  is a mistake

to have truth seek you is not

i have never yet come across anyone who has done psychedelics have any insight at all

what can you say of people who willingly damage their brains ?

just nasty aggressive stupids

on the spiritual circuit only the frauds  “ make bank ”  i am afraid

since when is what religion about being closed and stupid ?


let me put it a different way

since when should religion be about being closed and stupid ?

people get offended when their limited horizons are stretched

saying  “ southern finland ”  is like saying  “ the northern south pole ”

emotional regulation skills as  taught  by dialectical behavior therapy

“ i’m thinking i might be strange ”

there’s strange  “ incoherent ”  and strange  “ coherent ”

plumb for the latter

“ language is communication and dependent on relationship ”

language is not communication and independent   on   of relationship

edit :   coincidently soon after writing this i came across noam chomsky  saying  that language was primarily a system for the modulation of thought and communication is an artifact

yeah, you need to simplify what you say and make it more readable

why does eckhart tolle look and sound like something bad out of  “ the hobbit :   an unexpected journey ”   ?

smaug  with bilbos’s face ?

took a while to grow on me, but i quite like this  photo  of a tree during a snowfall in ireland

interesting vitalik buterin  interview  with informative links

rowan atkinson, a wife, ex and children, new partner and son, the usual  circus  of fame and deep seated breeding imperatives

alcohol and pot are quite a destructive combination

seen the wreckage in real life i am afraid

if only  “ druggies ”  weren’t so creepy and manipulative, but they are

religion, where confusion meets hypocrisy

r|zen, where confusion meets hypocrisy

anti-mysticism  at a catholic university ?

where is the inquisition when you need them ?

noam chomsky gives an interesting  response  to what is going on before language ie before thought

the many layers of neural processing that happen before we are conscious of what we see are something that we don’t think about, but certainly occurs, yet if it is studied can be thought about in an abstract mechanistic way so in that sense is not beyond thought

to be honest, i am not sure what language is and what it means to say that something can or cannot be expressed in language

out on a warm night

no moon, the landscape bathed in eternity

if you ask what to do

you are already sunk

nothing impresses me like people’s ability to take some nonsense and imagine it means something

“ got to keep the looneys  on the path ”

“ you raise the blade, you make the change

you re-arrange me ’til i’m sane

you lock the door

and throw away the key

 there’s someone in my head but its not me ”

king david’s  lyre

post-modern is the use of language to manipulate rather than represent truly

there’s a huge amount of  “ interpretations ”  claiming to be translations of  “ sufi ”  work

so what you actually get is highly sentimentalised western  “ pop ”  philosophy

the earliest ingress of this eastern mystical thought was in the  ‘ romantic poets ’ ,  john keats being among them

why does eckhart tolle’s  voice  make me want to kill ?

“ scholarship ”

from the man who thinks reading a book title is the same as reading a book ?

marsha lineham  interviewing  a suicidal patient

“ inerrant scripture ”  is the borg speaking

“ inerrant scripture ”  is  “ borgspeak ”

nutrition has a lot to do with  “ brain state ”

happy and unhappy is all brain biology with interludes of circumstantial change

post-modernist to the core ?

deflection and confusion are not admirable personal traits

one who is truely  “ enlightened ”  has no question as to his actually being enlightened and has no dependence on others’ opinions for validation

that said, a person you think is enlightened should also approve you

the approval of some-one you respect is important

ewk self-approves, that’s what makes him insane

a translation is a claim, usually unfounded

in the case of zen

that a person actually said what was translated

what is the philology ?

was the person historically real

how do you know that that person said it and not someone else

how do you know the transcription was accurate

how do you know the copies were accurate

how do you know its not a  “ literati ”  hack

how do you know the translator was not biased ?

incidentally the koran makes anything look accurate, its such nightmare of the above problems

the tar baby narcissist strikes again

“ why do you call everyone names ? ”

why do you match what you are called so well ?

“ why do you insist on being insulting ? ”

why do you insist on providing material for insults ?

mazu was alive in the mid eight century, you have to do  “ philological ”  work to establish what the characters meant then and what the validity of the source document is to claim it was mazu’s words

lacking real research you are just writing hubric bullshit

smaug, the dragon of  reality in the sea of unreality

“ how is the one mind of zen not just the brahman of advaita vedanta renamed ? ”

how are both just bullshit carried over thousands of years ?

garbage carried by idiots, earlier garbage followed by later garbage ?

“ how is the one mind of zen not just the brahman of advaita vedanta renamed ? ”

how are both just bullshit carried over thousands of years ?

garbage carried by idiots, later garbage followed by earlier garbage ?

there is nothing more pathetic than voynich by a failed expert

without meditation or meditative work, you are just a stupid train running along the rails of a dead end infinfity

smaug, the dragon of  unreality

you empower  “ gaslighters ”  by giving them attention and taking them seriously

you empower yourself by removing yourself from their prescence

i’ve never been on the winning side of anything

which just shows how right i am

i’ve never been on the winning side of anything

which just shows how right i can be

“ zen is a practice of deep respect which i have for all beings, even if they attempt to elicit a negative response from me.  may all beings find enlightenment.   ~ namaste ~ ”

you are stuck in  “ gaslighting hell ”

who believes that  schmegegge  except you ?

“ where can i find linji’s shout or deshan’s staff? ”

in truthfulness, not being evasive and not dissing people who are informed by experience and effort

couples should be not too distant from each other, but not too close either

too close will always spring a reaction

couples should be not too distant from each other, but not too close either

somewhat  strange ,  but it has a point

sepehr  asks

what do you think of this woman’s art ?

my  reply

the art and writing doesn’t grab me

2.08 in the  video  at the bottom of the page does

i have never been into philip k. dick, though i have read some of his books, never  “ the man in a high castle ” ,  but looking  at this  there’s something to it

CGI is impressive, but the  yamato  was a dog

of course there are real life  alternate  realities

its just so glaring, what bankei and other masters say without dispute is if you sort it our yourself you won’t need to quote but can talk about it yourself in a way that is not obscure and makes sense

so what does everyone do ?

quote and puzzle over nonsense unable to even work out that it is nonsense coupled with aggressive attacks on those who question them

r|zen is truly a looney bin

the talentless drug taking

so keen on imposing their impoverised interior life on the world

philological problems  +  transcription errors  +  copying errors  +  literary license  +  translation  +  post-modern bias  =  the difference between what we read and what was intended

its insane to  “ profess ”  a religion or similar without any real life experience of it

an emotional disconnect that extreme is diagnostic of schizophrenia

in my view you are making  a mistake ,  every additional language learnt crimps your proficiency in other areas of life,  “ in english ”  there is only so much brain power to go around and you are  “ spending ”  it all on learning languages

what you have really learnt is what is shown in the video, the ability to switch between languages which actually isolates you from true proficiency in any language that really matters ie english

well, its a good party trick, silencing really : o)

i’m not speaking abstractly, i know another language polymath, maybe 9? languages and you can see the deep deficits in other cognitive skills

you are obviously very intelligent and make salient points about culture and language, but that doesn’t mean there’s not a problem

more than anything else ewk, you are are a failed narcissist, gaslighting that wouldn’t cut any ice in a kindergarten

you are utterly unable to address being wrong, when you can’t reply, you resort to spam

zen is the art of dialoguing between parties with very different views of the world, why not upgrade your game ?

neo-marxism, identity politics and post-modernism are university liberal arts memes

i haven’t included post-structuralism because i think its ok and a necessary correction of structuralism

you are like ewk and think extensive gaming and zen are compatible ?

well, we all look forward to a  “ zen ”  role playing game

shaolin martial calisthenics combined with particularly atrocious daoist clichés and paternal homilies

the notion of  “ beginner ”  is mistaken in  “ spiritual matters ”

this is because  “ the work ”  involves the deconstruction and reconstruction of  “ self ”  and that which would be a beginner is itself subject to this process and in actual fact has always been occurring over the life anyway

ice poseidon  earns  his donations

with experience you learn to handle disagreement in a productive way

if you  “ practice ”  you are making a big mistake, the word is the clue, you are not doing something for real, but pretending

no wonder the old zen masters rubbished the term

being open to being wrong is far more to the point, but who does that on r|zen

a truck load of phoneys that get aggressive rather than address being wrong

r|zen, like any religion is just an endless and totally insane defence of bad ideas

i suddenly thought of  sappho

the barbitos  lyre

saying something is so, doesn’t make it so

rosie talks about  the problems  of being an expat

“ only a child of the dreamtime may leverage the fount of coherence ”

a child of the dreamtime wanders through the dreamtime  incoherently

a reader quotes me and asks why

traveller, look within, but it is dangerous to dwell there too long

my  answer

entrainment of the default circuit

or  “ living in a ghost cave ”  as the old zen masters used to say

“ we reflect, we reflect, we are reborn

this life is nothing short of an evolving explosion of amazing presence ”

we deflect, we effect, we are unborn

this life is nothing short of an devolving implosion of a mazing presence

“ nothing is impossible.  we exist as chaos-driven reactions.  the goal of expanding wave functions is to plant the seeds of curiosity rather than ego ”

something is impossible

we don’t exist as chaos driven detractions

expanding wave functions have no goal and the ego is planted by seeds of curiosity

“ it can be difficult to know where to begin.  the biosphere is calling to you via meridians.  can you hear it ?  traveller, look within and empower yourself ”

it is not difficult to know where to begin

if you think the biosphere is calling you by meridians you are a lunatic

traveller, look within, but it is dangerous to dwell there too long

a deepak chopra quote

the body is a physcial reflection of the choices you make over a lifetime

my  reworking

health as you get older is a combination of genetics, luck, diet, various medical interventions, life style, observation of cause and effect and plenty of unknowns

doesn’t sound so fancy when it gets more accurate does it ?

its just a stupid story

ed.  case 22 of the mumonkan

why does it have to mean anything

bad soap opera scripts abound

christopher reeve

“ while serious injuries among competitive riders are rare, USCTA statistics show that cross-country events like this one generate 72 percent of all riding injuries because they involve jumping over fixed obstacles  with speed  ”

high and fast, not so much an accident as disaster waiting to happen

“ What is Zen ? ”

neZ backwards

well the whole subreddit  (ed. r|zen)  is a tar baby, make sure you get value for time and have other interests

people are just terrified to be left alone with their own thoughts

jason  replies

some of the women here at work turn on music on the comp, they really can’t handle their own thoughts

when they leave the room i turn it off

i find it distracting

world war two was fought on meth

“ we have to draw the line somewhere ”

where would that be ?

zen masters say  “ nowhere ” 

addendum :  hmm

jacobus sinapius is an  interesting  person, the 2nd owner of the voynich manuscript

everything is a reflection of myself

but actually its not

everything is a reflection of myself

but its not

my correction of a bankei quote

unless the eye opens that sees into   men   yourself, you’re a blind man and won’t be able to see into others

“ why are you here ? ”

sexual reproduction

“ why are you here ? ”


the way to use tarot is not to be fooled by it, its just some junk to distract people while effectively providing therapeutic advice

paganism and kabbalah are bullshit for schizophrenics

emily dickinson and charles bukowski are the real deals, why would you waste your time with total crap like paganism ?

everything meditative is a waste of time unless you read quality poetry and literature

the mentally lazy  (most)  just plum for lunacy like aleister crowley

pot smoking youth, shameless and toxic promoters of its claimed  harmlessness

“ adolescence is a crucial time for fine-tuning the balance of excitatory and inhibitory neurons in the brain, which combine to control precise patterns of brain activity

substance use as a teenager thus has the potential to disrupt the normal developmental trajectory of the pre frontal cortex, with potentially long-term consequences for decision-making ”

colour does do something

the weirdest thing about war is the   slavish obedience  to rank idiots like hitler

stupid repulsivity, the last days of idiocy

the effect  of genetics on life span is less than 7 percent

just as well for me as one set of grandparents died relatively young

i think the dominant effect today are medications and operations, of more concern and possibly much higher in terms of heritability is retaining a sound mind