this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don't warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here



pending poems  index



chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page



audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed !


















spring


loves


autumn


and


autumn


loves


spring
















spring


loves


autumn


and


autumn


loves


spring
















if


you


want


to


understand


reality


you


do


at


some


point


in


your


life


have


to


undo


all


the


erroneous


stuff


you


have


taken


on


board


before


you

worked


out


how


to


do


it


on


the


fly


with


your


ongoing


picking


up


error
















it's


weird


to


look


back


on


science


fiction




bankrupt


except


for


stanislaw


lem
















it's


illuminating


to


listen


to


authors


of


books


you


have


read


they


are


boring


people
















i


really


think


string


theory


is


looking


at


the


boundary


condition


of


the


existing universe


wether


it


exists


or


not


and


that's


how


it


makes


progress
















it


always


happens


that


the


wrong


reject


the


right
















since


i


know


what


it's


about


then


it's


inevitable


i


get


rejected


isn't


it ?




that


is

what


has


always


happened


and


always


will


i


guess


depressing
















since


i


know


what


it's


about


then


it's


inevitable


i


get


rejected


isn't


it ?




that


is

what


has


always


happened


and


always


will


i


guess


depressing
















since


i


know


what


it's


about


then


it's


inevitable


i


get


rejected


isn't


it ?




that


is

what


has


always


happened


and


always


will


i


guess


depressing
















the


zen


sutra


identity


of

relative


and


absolute


is


garbage


wether


it


always


was

or

got


butchered


over


the


years


is


difficult


to say



my


personal


view


is


we

are


not


seeing


the


original


poems


of


shitou xiqian


either


the


identity


of


relative


and


absolute


or


the


song


of

the


grass

hut


they


got


garbled


or


are

pseudepigraphical



or the original meaning has been lost through changes in the sense of words, particularly a loss


of


poetic


 multilayering
















people


who


say


good


luck


are


busy


removing


themselves


from


the


situation
















we


are


not


decoupled


from


what


we


do




we


get


shaped


by


what


we


do
















the


daisies


shine




my


god


i'm


turning


into

a


daisy !
















i


still


 can't


get


used


to

 getting

 older
















writing


you


have


to


rearrange


your

life


and


put


the


work


in
















there


is


something


unbounded


about


the


universe


even


unbounded
















a


discussion


is


not


 censorship
















children


being


half


their


father's


is


another


of


the


tricks


that


nature


plays


on


women
















i


think


 philosophy


has


some


scope




if


it


has


no


scope




it's


not


 philosophy




question :


is


wisdom


literature


   philosophy ?
















the


usa


a

culture

of


mass


ignorance
















that leaf skeleton one is a particularly good poem


one


of


the


best


i


have


ever read





eileen wrote:





in


death


i


am


earth


wet


brown


leaf


skeletons


meld


to


my


face
















there


are


no


benign


communist


regimes



all

murderous
















physics


is


not


philosophy


curiously


parallel


but


i


don't


think


it


touches
















we


just


pass


on


from


one


thing


to


another




no


recollection
















i want


to


pass


out


of


life



i

want


to


cease


to


exist



no


i


am


not


suicidal
















P


h


d


putrid


harlot


dehabilitated
















richard


feynman


genius


but


there's


a sort


of


 narrowness

there


naive


    about life ?




it's


like


only


somethings


are

a

problem


but


everything

is


a

problem


you


blinker


out


the


 unsatisfactory


and


only


deal


with


the


satisfactory


i


don't


see


that


works

and


it


didn't


work


for


him
















women


are


a


biological


machine


specialized


in the upbringing


of


children


and


the


manipulation


of


men


and


not


much


else
















you


plagarizing


sons


of


bitches !
















sometimes


it


pays


to


cheat


: o )
















authors


can


be


much


more


interesting


than


their


books
















infinity


has


it's


problems


too




from


your


point


of


view


it


has


a lot


of


costs
















n


t


i


not


that


 interesting
















if


you


ain't


writing


for


yourself




you


are


a


fool




the


tincture


of


bitterness



permeates



everything
















i


am


old


enough




that


events


current


in


my


youth


russian


communism


nuclear


testing


post


WWII


are


disappearing
















the


weirdness


of


life




eroding




away
















great


men


die


in


just


as


much


misery


as


the


ungreat
















how


beyond


reasonable


doubt


works


is


like


this




if


the


jury


finds


a

person


guilty


one


in

ten


will




be


innocent




if


the


jury


finds


for


guilty


beyond


reasonable


doubt




one


in


one


hundred


will


be


innocent
















all


i


know


is


 sometimes


there


can


be


gifts



other


times


you


have


to


work


it


out
















a


lifetime


is

less


than


a


grain


of


sand


on


a


beach


in


terms


of


disputation


potential .
















issac


asimov


bizarre


to be born during the russian civil war


work out how


universes


would appear


under string theory


7


years before


string theory


made


these


predictions


and


then to die of


aids


from


a

blood

transfusion


during

heart


surgery


what


an


astounding


span


of


experience !
















fundamentally


things


are

wrong


and


always


will be


the


stance


that


just


about


everybody


takes


is


that


somethings


are

wrong


and


need

to


be


fixed
















message


boards


steer


a


long


keeled


path
















evening



to



evening



what



vast



distances



separate



me



from



my



previous



self
















if


i


was


a


prophet


i'd


be


spending


the


insights


on


the


sharemarket


and


futures
















all


we


are


is


candles


that


burn


out
















i


am


too


certain


of


the


topic




hubris


and


ennui


have


 nothing


on


me
















what


is


the


point


of


all


this


 meditation


and


 discussion


and


 thinking


if


at


the


end


 there's


no


point


to


 anything


at


   all ?
















thank


bloody


god


charles


you

broke


me


out


of


religion


and


zen


and


springwater


but


not philosophy




unfortunately
















charles


bukowski


took


a

wrong


turning


in a


life


sense


you


can


see


it


in


his


writing




he


   talks about the magnificent views on the coast drive


to


a


racetrack


and


when visiting


an


ex


and


being


driven


to


a


greyhound


race


track


and


seeing


the


escarpements


in


the


moonlight


on


the


way


there
















there's


criticism


thats


negative


and


criticism


that


catches


the


ball


and


passes


it


back
















what


does


the


future


hold ?




what


did


it


hold




  anyway ?
















censorship


was


invented


by


women
















theres


no


more


insurmountable


barrier


to


real


literary


fame


than


being


alive


to


claim


credit


for


it
















it's


come


to


this


i


have


to


lie


about


what


i


do


because


people


can't


cope


with


it


i


am

the


developer


of


the


biofilm


carbohydrate


diet


and


compendium


supplement


program


and


i


write


poetry


and


homilies


i


can


already


see


the


averted


glances !
















you tube comment on charles bukowskis poem  the man with the beautiful eyes



I really like it, but theirs something i don't understand, did the man die, and did the adults? do it




my


reply



    it's synthetic, it straddles the real and the imaginary
















mr.


charles


bulowski


supreme


pig


but


honest


with


it




to


a


certain


point




anyway
















nothing


like


a

bit


of

steak


to


invigorate


the


mind
















these


 homilies


you


can


just


about


always


read


them


two


or


three


ways
















when young men seek to be like you, when lazy men resent you, when powerful men look over their shoulder at you, when cowardly men plot behind your back, when corrupt men wish you were gone and evil men want you dead . . . only then will you have done your share.     -    phil messina





somehow


this


is


always


other


people


and


never


  ourselves !
















  ~   ~   ~   the  ~   ~   ~


  ~   ~   ~  air  ~   ~   ~


  ~   ~   ~  is  ~   ~   ~


  ~   ~   ~  full  ~   ~   ~


  ~   ~   ~  of  ~   ~   ~


   ~   ~   ~  spiderwebs  ~   ~   ~
















religion


takes


ordinary


minds


into


areas


they


are


not


equipped


to


handle


and


makes


them


more


stupid
















daily exercise and stretching is the best hormone therapy i know of


the


more


 i learn about women and hormones, the more thankful i am to be male as i age
















what


happens


when


we


die ?




that


last


spluttering


of


conciousness


ceases


then


ceases


permanently
















why


my


life

should


be


a

litany


of


things


going


wrong


i


don't


know




probably


because


i


see


things


that


way




and


tend


to


push

things


close


to


the


edge
















theres


opinions


by


people


who


know


what


they


are


talking


about


and


there's


opinions


by


idiots
















evolution


is


not


passive


it


has


designed


our


brains


to


be


deliberately


blind


to


certain


things



like



the



 ephemeralness


of


life
















proust


is


perhaps


the

best


example


of


attention


that


should


have


gone


into


thinking and


experimenting


with


his

health


going

into


writing


and


understanding


life
















when


you


are


dying




how


much


meaning




does


anything




 have ?
















dying


is


an


intrusion


on


life


or


is


life


an


intrusion


on


dying





OR





is


dying


an


intrusion


on


life




or


life




an


intrusion




on


dying ?
















theres


so


little


that


stays




it


all


just


 disappears
















success


is


a


subset


of


failure




it's


a


type


of


failure
















i


don't


hold


the


truth


as


ultimate


in


the


end


it's


just


a


name


like


everything


else
















politics


i


couldn't


sleep


except


for


the


need


to


keep


looking


over


your


shoulder
















you


don't


want


to


get


too

precious


about


poetry




one


of the


best




poems


i have


ever seen


was


by


a

teenage


woman


self


harm


cutting


depression


i


don't


even


know


if


shes


alive


or


not


there's


no


help


the


usual


bad


treament


and if your


poems


survive


your


death


they




are


used


by


a


bunch


of


wankers


to


garner


income


that


you


never

saw


a


penny of
















the


world


now


is


nothing


but


crummy


self


absorbed


idiots




it


didn't


always


use


to


be


that


way




at


least


not


so


completely


so
















when i read about priests persuading gogol and dostoyevsky to destroy their work


i really took that on board


crummy shits


i


wasn't


going


to


make


the


same


mistake
















i


am


so


full


of


catastrophes


i


never


cease


to


stop


discovering


them
















theres


a huge


unevenness

in


life


and


your


life




if


you


can't


see


it


you


are

lacking


imagination
















recursive


the end


swallows


the


beginning
















even


in


death


  ANGST !
















thats


the


claim




declaiming


the


claim
















love


is


infinity


for


 monsters
















Charles


Bukowski


once


you


leave


aside


the


biographers


gloss


was


an


arsehole




i


don't


think


he


would


deny


it




maybe


he


would




maybe


he


wouldn't
















god


doesn't


have


a


particularly


attractive


personality



bit



of



an



arsehole



actually



lets


put


it


this


way


i


have


seen


more


attractive


personalities




endless


empty




full


of


themselves




yeah


emily


dickinson




throw


aside



any



hold


on


meaning


when


you


enter


here



it's


really


just


a


deconstruction


of


DOG
















what


is


  god ?



nobody



knows



an


exiled


  dog ?
















i


am


feeling


really


disaffected




life


devoid


of


any


meaning




just


stupid


writing




it's


not


as


though


it


has


any


meaning



an

endless



sameness



no


love


to


glue


my


life


together



it


was



a


fiction



anyway
















emily


dickinson


couldn't


have


existed


today



she



would




have




been




vaccinated




and




medicated




into




imbecility




ADHD


&


AUTISTIC



BISEXUAL
















why


does


all


this


have


to


be


written ?




it's


killing


me
















the


viewpoint


is


different




life




or




what




we




think




of




as




life




is




an




image




not


real




a


reflection




can


this


be


seen ?




i


don't


think


it


can




the


identity


of


the


image


with


the


real


is


what


is


of


interest
















my


own


insanity




gets




to




me




sometimes
















god


is


a


 vocabulary




when


you


 understand


the


deep


 structure





 different


forms


of


 expression




are




no




 problem
















i


didn't


worship


mammon


thats


for sure !




didn't ignore him either tho


i


might


as


well


have
















how


dissonant


johnson's


lineation


of


emily


dickinson !
















you


can


only


live


on


the


net


to


a


certain


point
















every


successive


day


the


world


is


not


improved


one


iota
















don't


sweat


what


you

can't


control
















love


is


infinity


for


poodles


this


poodle


is


in

love

with


infinity
















the


only


value


in


a


poem


is

where


it


came


from


wether


it


is


read


 afterwards




doesn't


matter
















let


it


speak


for

itself


we


have


too


much


of


the


modern


disease


of


saying


something


should


be


what


it's


not
















i


think


if


you


do


something


really


well




you

are


not



 conscious


of


it


at


all
















appearance versus functionality



basic


human


dilemma
















writing


for


oneself


and


others




centuries


of


madmen




am


i


joining


them ?
















marina tsvetaeva


poor


stupid


bitch




lifes


sum


come


to


nothing


as much


as


anybody


else
















you


don't


get


migraine




too


satisfied


with


the


world




too

prepared

to


compromise


personal


integrity


with


the


hogwash


of


the


masses
















i


think


i'm


ready


to


become


an


invalid




driven


everywhere


looked


after


fed




who


will


do


that ?
















& nbsp;


why


does


it


take


6


characters


to


make


one


space ?
















i


think

i'd


rather


been


less


sane


and


had


an


easier


life



















susan dickinson


  emily's sister-in-law and sometime lover


also wrote poems


thyssop


notes
















how


does


one


become


a

clear


thinker


one


sees


one


is


not


a


clear


thinker




humans


are


not


designed


for


this


stuff
















everyone


is


different


you


can

admire


the


strengths


of


what


is


not


you


but


be


aware


that


you


will


only


make



progress


by


an


alignment


of


your


natural


abilities


with


what


you


are


working


on
















 nietzsche


cared


for


by


his


 sister


and


mother


after several strokes


in his


last year/s




*sigh*
















it's


funny


that


the


brain


is


so


much


more


plastic


than


the




gentials
















everything


is


so


specialized


now


that


people


are


not


used


to


thinking


for


themselves


and


expect to


pay


for


some-one


to


do


it


for


them




they


never


get


pushed


outside


their


boundaries
















zen


teachers


are


a bunch


of


fakes
















if


the


jews


really


controlled


the


world


there


wouldn't


have

been


a


german


left


alive


after


WWII
















one


realises


eventually


there's


almost


no


audience


for


quality


or


originality


out


there




religion


the


arts


lay


readers


just endless


schmucks


imposing


their


crappy


view

of


the


world


on


you


if


they


have


the


 opportunity
















jealousy


to


women


is


like


water


to


fish
















interesting comparison of an emily dickinson poem


was investigating carthage and found this  pic


gee


it


looked


nice


  and then remembered emily dickinsons


poem about


the


mail


from


tunis


and


found


this


 what's interesting


is


to


compare


the two


versions


and


how


much better


the more


dropped

down


one


reads
















an


editor


is


a

fool


that


plays


the


fool


and


is


not

a


fool
















man


to


woman


what is


your


purpose


in


life ?


woman


to


buy


clothes


what is


your


purpose


in


life


to


enable


you


to


buy



clothes


woman


goes


on


not


expecting


the


penny


to


drop
















sir


henry


neville


was


an


impossible


dreamer


according


to


sir


francis


bacon




it


goes


with


the


territory
















it's


a

big


mistake


to


do

things


too


completely


it's


also


it's a


big


mistake


not


to


do


things


completely


enough
















do


you


donate


blood ?




i


mean


apart


from


marriage ?
















if


you


make


a


mistake


start


remedying it


immediately


this


can


be


as


simple


as


going


over


what


to


do


next time
















poetry


reading


can


be


a bit


tricky


sometimes


you


can


pick


immediately


wether


it's


good


or


trash


other


times


it


can


be


what


you


don't


want


to


hear


and


takes

a

while

to


appreciate


it
















for


my


sins


i


became


an


 EDITOR
















women


scorned


get


retaliatory
















if


you

make


a

decision


and


are


able


to


enforce


it


you


start


to


believe


in


it
















the usa has a high proportion of eastern european immigrants and the pyschology is different, more lemmings on steriods


so


to


speak
















why


are


people


so


diseased ?


brains
as
foul
a
s
a
garbage
pit
















dark


stockings


means


varicose


veins
















i'd


rather


drive


a


tractor


than


argue


with


an


academic
















schopenhauer


was


basically


sane


which


is


more


than


can


be


said


of


most


philosophers
















the


capable


mad
















groups


tend


to


wars


and


conflicts


the


way


bees


tend


to


flowers
















it's


such


a


human


trick


the


inauthentic


claiming


to


be


authentic
















small


minds


are


small


because


they


resist


enlargement
















stalin


had


the


right


idea


he


shot


his


 philosophy


tutor
















women


are


not


easy


to


bring


to


heel


in


that


how


can


the


slave


ever


bring


the


master


to


heel
















the


newspapers


will


spin


up


anything


that


gets


a

readers


attention
















i


have


got


too


old


and


melancholy


i


don't


believe


in


anything


even




living
















it's


no


good


we


are


different


species
















the


thing


about


some


gender


blurred


women


i


notice


is


you


think


they


are


more


male


but


by


god


they


can


be

more


female !
















heidegger


said


we


have


to


experience

everything


thats


being


wrong


as


well


as


right
















it's


sorta


ironic


toni


didn't


believe


in


the


zen


forms


liturgy


robes


 hierarchy


but


she


kept


sitting


 vegetarianism


interviews


 transmission


  i didn't believe in sitting


 vegetarianism


or


 anything really


we


both


left
















i


think


toni


packer


talks


too

much !
















why


would


anybody


want


to


teach


people ?
















whats

the


point


of

it


all ?


the


road


to


infinity


and


back ?
















miss


calculator


between


her


ears
















da


free


john


just


 another


 ordinary


man
















life


and


death


are


a


pair



of


  what ?



   testicles ?



   breasts ?



   nuts ?
















as


regards


 investigating


reality


i


never


 compromised


and


it


   somewhat looked after me
















living


by


yourself


cooking


eating


cleaning


gardening


sleeping


working


money


computer


mowing


living


girlfriend


lover


your


brain


is


always


being


pulled


apart
















life


after


  death ?


i


do


not


 particularly


want


to


be


alive


after


death
















sexually


deprecated


loathsome


schmucks


spreading


their


vileness


over


everything



men



and



women















google's


and ebay's


huge


value


inflation


didn't


come


from


nowhere




it


came


from


the


printed


media


and


at


it's


expense


bleat on


murdock


you

are


doomed !
















there


is


no


largest


number


thats


a

form


of


infinity


but


there

is


also


no


smallest


number


thats


another


form




of


infinity
















poetry


is


a

very


 mutative


use


of


 language
















 politics -


alliances


formed


and


wars


fought
















something


is


better


than


nothing


though


often


not


a lot


better
















it's


very


hard


to


get


that


  99.9999%

of


religious


and


 philosophical


thought


is


plain


wrong


and


  quadzillions of


years


hours


eternities


across

 unnumbered


universes




wasted
















politics


has


it's


origins


in


female


competition

for


men
















how


can


so


many


people


be

so


wrong


all


the


time




it's


the


  norm !
















religion


is


very


boring


people


 continuing


to


be


 boring
















if


you


are


going


to


solve


the


puzzle



of


life



you


are


going


to


have


to


expect


reality


to


move


to


accomodate


your


deficiencies




which



it



will
















you


get


to


the


point


where


you


don't


expect


people


to


understand




because



they



don't



and



can't



and



won't
















even


da


free


john


a


 fuckwit




JESUS !!!!!!!
















mrs.


 grundy


is


alive


and


well


in


australia
















i


am


a


winter


ray


of


sunshine




eileen


my


little


 hellebore
















now


thats


a


fantasy




a


little


retirement


village


for


used


lab


rats


and


mice
















dying


must


be


no


big


deal




it


occurs


so


often
















to


the


fatties


who


complain


about people


being


skinny


a


dolphin


is lithe


to


a


whale
















if


you


don't


do


anything


it's

amazing




how


much


extra


time


you


have


got
















women


take


to


spending


like


ducks


to


water
















what i have noticed


is


that


though


it's


just me


one


in


a billion


that


a lot


of


my


 opinions


are

 unique


like

i


must


be


the


only


one who


thinks


there


is


a


 positive side


to


an


ozone


hole
















why


is


it


those


who


 understand


most


are


   poorest ?
















if


you


are


thinking


of


writing


a


story


and


looking


at


sir


henry


neville




one


thing


you


will


notice




is


the


public




has


a



tolerance




of




utterly




improbable




plots
















rumi


was


insane
















zen


is


like


a


poison


that


has


seeped


into


the


soul




so


many


years


to


spill


it


out
















we


all


turn


into


old


fools


soon


enough


and


some


wise


ones
















There are some recent  findings  however, that many more people experience hallucinations and delusions without being diagnosed as psychotic, he said.



i


suffer


from


the


delusion


i


exist
















i

love


but


even


so


marriage


is


a


hard


word


to


pronounce
















if


you


watch


avatar


you


are


just


enriching


fakeness
















eating


the


lotus




thats


my


life


at


the


 moment
















much


ado


about


nothing


an


 unmitigated


tear


jerker


set


on


mania


standard


soap fare
















we


don't


really


live


long


enough


to


get


a


grip


of


anything
















i


think


sir


henry


neville


had


an


over


benign


view


of


people


in


power


a


little


jane


austenish




he


paid


the


price




two


years


in


the


tower
















the


twelfth


night


fatuous


unreal


enjoyable


with festes


singing


the


real


along
















eileen


the


stars


are


in


your


eyes




how


special


they


  are !
















i


think


i


am starting


to


appreciate


sir


henry


neville




i


almost


wrote


shakespeare




you


have


to


make


the


transition
















enlightenment


holiness


even


plain


saneness


it


really


just


consists


of


seeing


how


wrong


we


are


all


the


time
















i


watched


the


12th


night




then


i


realized


i


was


anti - escapist




but

i


loved


it !
















there


are


different


ways


to


become


pyschotic




through


the


imagination


too


much




and


too


much


through


the


real
















people


need


escapism




just




don't




live




by




it
















it's


really


weird


to


understand


yourself
















one


of


the


problems


of


believing


that


shakespeare


wrote


shakespeare


and


not


sir


henry


neville


is


that


you


develop


a


totally


unreal


expectation


of


synthesis


whereas


in


reality


it


was


all


sir


henry

neville's


life


experience
















the


usa


is


sitting


on


top


of


a


genetic


genocide




no-one dies


or most don't


but in

terms


of


genetic


damage


it's


unparalleled


in evolutionary


history
















editing

it's


a

terrible


job


editing


depressing


soul


destroying


sucks


you


dry


editing
















look


at


the


 twelfth


night


if


you


think


 shakespeare


wrote


this

and


not


sir


henry


neville


you


want


your


head


 examined
















the


BCD


and


compendium


my

personal


vietnam


so


much


of


my

life


and


time


invested


i


can't


afford


to


walk


away




will


there


be


the


same


outcome?
















they can't do it


the difference between me and them is years and maybe an unbridgeable divide
















it's


just


words


that


come


into


my


head
















wife


and


children


wears


the

poor


male


to


skin


and


bone




except


those


that


avoid


it


 ; o )
















the


thing


about


bukowski


is


alcohol


didn't


make


him


a


better


poet


thats


for


sure


he


could


have


been

shakespeare


but


he


chose


to


be


a

drunkard


well


maybe


it


did

make


him


a


better

poet !
















you


have


to


trust


what


you


are


attracted


to


though


it


doesn't


seem


logical
















we


are


here


for


a




day


blink


and




are


gone
















we


are


two


beings


if


you


can't


see


it


with


humans


you


can


see


it


with


cows


they look


like


two


beings


themselves


and

their


gut

flora
















if


you


tell

 people


what


they


don't


want


to


hear


but


don't


force


it


on


them


you


are


not


in


too


much


danger


if


you


force


it


on


them


even


if


it's


 inadvertent


you


are


in


danger




john


lennon


knows
















zen


talks



it's



like



really

toxic



to



hear



 some-one



speak



and



not



speak



yourself
















de


botton


on


proust


it


took


me


a

while


but


there


are


substantial


issues


there
















writing


as


memory
















when


you


get


like


that


all


i


can


do


is


back


off
















losing


money



losing


sleep



which



is



more



grief ?
















i


don't


think


a


writers


writing


makes


sense




apart


from


their


lives
















insomnia


i


guess


that


is


what


proust


was


about




memory



the


need


for


rememberance



more


accurately


constructed
















have


i


exhausted


it



no



i


guess

that


means


yes !
















god


i'm


writing


like


proust




endless




killing




why?
















the


sense


is


pretty


simple



the


sound


is


more


involute



the


sight


is


even


more


complex
















am


i


not


allowed


to


be


myself ?


no


most


of


us


are


too


cruel


by


half


or


whole
















john


was


alive




and



now



john



is



dead




how


odd !
















like


proust


i


just


want


to


weep


under


the


bed


covers


with


the


difficulty


of


it


all



and


sleep
















i


couldn't


write


like


this


living


with




you
















interestingly



there



is



a



coherence



to



all



this
















when


you


are


mining




and



hit



the



ore



you



just



have



to



keep



going
















where


am


i


going




away




where


have


i


gone




too


close !
















i'm


so


upset



i


just


want


to


cry



not


just


with


you



but


the


murderous


writing


process



even


the


damn


pen



wants


to


run


out
















if


we


didn't


need


each


other



we


would


have


broken


up



long


ago
















humans


are


such


a

crazy


species



imposing


themselves



on



everything



the


extreme


male


female


differentiation



are



one



of



the



problems



with


it




and


benefits
















time


is


a


curious


animal
















the


common


mind


is


curiously




and




wrongly




literal




sorta


like


a


drug


really
















it's


not


that


all


things


are


one




because


they


are


not
















one


of


the


curious


things


about




zen




buddhism


is


it's


parallelism




but


non -


identity
















women


like


who


they


like




and


dislike


who


they


dislike
















we


are


told


shakespeare


is


great




i


don't


actually


find


him


that


interesting
















a


male


may


think


he


has


to


get


something


done




the


female


lets


him


know


she


comes


before


that
















theres


an hypocrisy


in


claiming


to


be


interested


in


what


is


true


and


not


actually


doing


that




where


are


you


on


that


horizon ?
















management


are


capable


of


anything


even


thinking


occasionally
















maybe


i


am


enough


of


a


child


i


don't


feel


the


lack


thereof
















women


are


highly


specialized


reproductive


machines




men

are


some


sort


of


diffuse


beast


of


burden


for

the


above
















even


at


times


i


cack




 spewing


out


 infinities


words
















maybe


having


gone


to


christian


boarding


schools


i


have


more


of


a


burden


unwinding


christianity


than


most !
















christianity


is


a


vast


morality


play
















why have the various christian  governments   been so keen to get rid of the  wisdom of jesus son of sirach   out of the bible?




it's


obvious


that


the


composition


called


jesus


incororates


elements

of


the


earlier


hebrew


wisdom


tradition
















the


origins


of


the


early


church


are


not


distinct


they


are


an


evolution


from


mithraism


and


an


inwinding


of


egyptian


deities
















god you are ignorant paul.  what does redacted mean?  are you even familar with the gospel of thomas?  what is its role?  why have the various christian  governments   been so keen to get rid of the  wisdom of jesus son of sirach   out of the bible?


what you call scholarship are the rantings of a select group of schizophrenics employed by those mental institutions called theological colleges


you are good confirmation of my theory of christians really being atheist 




if


god


and


jesus


were


true


what


are


you


doing


arguing

with


me


it's


because


you


doubt


and


need


to confirm


your


belief


by


disputing


with


me




look


to


god


you


hypocritical


swine